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cradled

 

Cradled

Inside of my brain, my vomit colored heart careens. Wide right turns turned crash sites turned necks broken, doubled over, spit shine purple-hearted body bag. Don’t believe in escape because the pinprick shallow flower hasn’t let me go yet and I doubt she will, so will you? Leave me? Become some easy bleeding memory like a flashbulb nightmare back-handed slap staring at me bend down and take it there, easy there, just leave it there. don’t let the bugs crawl out of there. The skeletons rattle hollow and I am so afraid of following the easy trace of coal smoke all the way to your farmer’s daughter so don’t bother with the lights just let me see you struggle under candles and let me whisper dust into the bowels of your broad shoulders and shake truth out of your windpipes because the bullshit tastes so sweet and easy, like branches bent from acorn diets, riots spun from sugar timber, ticking bombs and denim kids too fickle, even just to try it.

Make sure not to multiply me more of this would be too much, this glutton life of scraping by and sometimes I am back on Buddha’s sidewalks scratching jokes into the veins of puddles riding three wheeled bikes like the circus was just a minute’s nonsense back to hot pink playdates and tea stained dresses that never existed. Suddenly, I am swinging the hatchet of who and what and why I now breathe so deep, why I swallow moonlight sadness and spin it into plastic victory, turning tricks too cheap to fix me, and why I silence serpent tongues, so patiently, so wistfully.